It's a Goodbye
by alexwritesfanfic
Summary: HeYa fanfic. One shot.


"You got **ENGAGED**!"  
"And you got **PREGNANT!"**  
"Yeah well, you got engaged first!"  
"It's not the fucking same, Heather! I'm not even engaged anymore! But _you_ got fucking _pregnant_".  
I said with the saddest smile on my face and my voice full of defeat.  
"And it's okay, 'cause now you have this amazing and sweet little boy who happens to be all types of awesome." I said with a smile.  
Heather just looked at me and gave me a tiny smile.  
"He _is_ pretty amazing". Heather said in a whisper.  
"Yeah, he is. I bet he got it from his mama".  
We both let out a sigh and stood there in silence for a while. I don't even remember how the discussion started. I came to her house just to hang out a little and see how Eli is doing. He really is a sweet little angel, and he has the exact same precious smile as her mommy. He's so lucky.  
But I get it. I get that she is a _mom_ now, and Eli needs her more than anyone else in the world, and I have to accept that _he_ is the father, but more than anything I have to accept that _he_ is her future now.  
A single tear was falling down my cheek when I felt her fingers on my chin. She tilted my head up so I could look her in the eye.  
"Hey", she said softly, "what's wrong?"  
"Nothing, don't worry about it" I said a bit more harshly than intended while facing away from her gaze.  
Heather looked at me with sad eyes and a tiny pout. She then left out another sigh.  
"Nay, please… You know it's complicated. It's expected of me to be with him" she said while looking at the floor.  
"I know it's complicated, H, but you just said the problem! It's fucking _expected_ of you! People expect you to make him happy, maybe even give him more kids. A wedding is _expected_. You are expected to become this republican, religious girl from Arizona who will give up her career and dreams just for him because you need to fucking please your man and your family! But what you don't realize, H, is that most importantly you are expected to be happy, which you are not. You are staying with him out of pure pressure from your family and his family, not because is something that you really want. Not because you actually love him."  
Heather couldn't hold her tears anymore and she started sobbing. I hate seeing her like that.  
"H, I'm sorry, that was completely out of line" I started to apologize, "Look, I'm not saying all of these to hurt you or a reproach. I'm trying to be a friend here. I'm sorry"  
She went to the sofa and sat down. I just stood there watching her compose herself. She took some deep breaths and looked at me.  
"Come sit with me, silly" she said with a tiny smile. I obliged.  
We sat there in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't a bad silence, it was just there.  
"I miss my best friend, Nay", Heather said to me. She sounded so small and sad.  
"I miss my best friend too, H, but I'm really sorry that I can't put my feelings for you aside right now. It's just too hard, knowing that I lost you completely."  
I'm not an idiot, I know Heather will never leave him. Not for me, not for a _girl_. What would her family say? What would the world think of her? How could she break the heart of the father of her child?! Yeah, that's just impossible to imagine, but what's incredible is that she can break my heart in the blink of an eye and be good about it. She says I was engaged, but my fucking God! She knows better than anyone that it was pure propaganda. Ok, it went wrong but even Ryan and stupid FOX warned us about our relationship. They were pretty clear about it, they didn't gave a fuck if we were actually a couple but they did gave a fuck about the public opinion and a _lesbian_ relationship was something they did **not** wanted. Especially with our fan base. So yeah, I got fucking engaged to the biggest asshole that ever walked the Earth but she got drunk with her ex and hooked up, and ended up _pregnant_.  
After that moment of silence she spoke again,  
"So, what now?" she asked me.  
"I think now is time for me to go", I said.  
I stood up and she followed me with her gaze. I grabbed my purse and said,  
"I hate to admit it, you know? But he won"  
I could feel the tears in my eyes but I refused to cry in front of her.  
"He didn't won, Nay. He doesn't have my heart like you do"  
"Yeah, but he got the girl, and that's everything I ever wanted"  
I started walking toward her front door when I heard her call me.  
"Nay, please don't go" Heather said.  
"I have to, H. There's nothing left here for me"  
"Tell me to leave him"  
"What?" I asked surprised.  
"Tell me to leave him!" she said again.  
"For what, H?! Leave him so you can come and be with me? So I can help you raise Eli and share custody? You know, we could even spend Thanksgiving with your fam in Arizona and Christmas with mine here in L.A!" I said as sarcastically as I could, "Please, Heather. We both know that you will never leave him, especially not for me"  
She looked so hurt. I felt like a total asshole but it was the truth. She had made her decision the moment she said 'yes' to his proposal. Which by the way I think was tacky and just plain horrible.  
"You chose him, H. It's time for me to move on. I'm not _expected_ in your life anymore".  
Heather stood in front of me and hold my hand. She was playing with our entwined hands when she said,  
"Do you remember how it used to be?" she asked with a tiny smile.  
I smiled in return and laughed a little,  
"Of course I do. We used to sneak around all the time from the paparazzi. And the Glee tour was so much fun" I remembered sadly.  
"Yeah. Although I would use the word madness to describe the tour" She said.  
We both started laughing with our hands still entwined.  
"It was madness. And those hours on set and the 'trailer parties' we used to have. Chris sure knows how to dance"  
"And the BBQ's at your house!" Heather said happily.  
Oh God, those BBQ's were always so good. After everyone had left it was always just us at the end. That was a great summer.  
"We used to have so much fun, didn't we?" she asked me sadly.  
"Yeah" I said in a whisper.  
I took a step back and our hands separated. I grabbed my phone and looked at the time. It was getting late and he would be home any time soon.  
"I need to get going" I said.  
"Why?" she asked.  
"It's getting late and he'll arrive soon" I explained. She understood.  
"Will we talk soon?"  
"I don't think so, H. I'm sorry"  
"I understand… Can I ask you something though?"  
"Sure, whatever, you know that"  
"Can we have one last kiss?" she looked so small.  
"I-I don't think I can… The last time I kissed you I was supposed to make it stop and it took everything in me to act like I didn't want it. If I kiss you now I won't stop".  
"Every time you backed off from the kiss was torture"  
"Yeah, I know the feeling." I said bitterly.  
We stood in silence once again.  
"The mornings are the worst for me" she said, "I used to wake up and there you were, hugging me tightly and mumbling in your sleep. Always so cute" she said with a sad smile.  
This conversation was getting more and more dangerous by the second, but to hell with everything!  
"The nights are the ones I can't handle. Just thinking of him hugging you, him being your last kiss of the day while I'm all alone in what, at least for me, used to be our bed… it's almost unbearable".  
"Nay, you may not be who is expected in my life, but you _are_ who I want and need"  
"Is that supposed to make me feel better, H? Cause it ain't working. Knowing that you wanna be with me but even so you stay with him only proves me that he is still your number 1 and I'm still your number 2. I can't handle it anymore, H"  
"My heart is yours, Naya. Proudly so" she said while tears kept forming in her eyes. I laughed a little.  
"I really have to go now"  
"One last hug? Please" she said.  
We hugged. It was tight and it felt so fucking horrible. It was my goodbye hug. It was me letting go the love of my life, my soul mate. It felt so wrong, but at the same time I was back in her arms, even if it was only for a few seconds I wanted to cherish those seconds forever. I wanted to remember the smell of her perfume, the color of her hair, how her eyes got a little bit darker when she cried, and just the feeling of being in her embrace.  
We let go and our eyes met. Yeah, this was a goodbye.  
"I love you, Nay" Heather said while tears kept running down her cheeks.  
"I love you too, H" I said and my voice cracked.  
I turned around and left her house. I couldn't turn back now, it was time to move on.


End file.
